REB #17: “In this case, kill Marlon. He gets on my tits.”

– Liam Hammond, a poster on the Aaron’s Story blog

According to Urban Dictionary, the phrase “gets on my tits,” which I’d never heard until today, is (1) a “verb used to signify a singular subject that bothers you” or (2) a “verb to describe someone who pisses you off.” It can also be used in the plural (“get on my tits”). The (singular) example sentence is the following: “Senseless violence really gets on my tits.”

Aside from the fact that user “ejito” of Urban Dictionary is technically wrong – it’s a verb phrase, not a verb, and may even have other names as well – I find his/her definition rather intoxicating. It uses the word “tits” in a way that not only evokes the proper mood, tone, and branding of a website called Urban Dictionary but also reminds me that there is a big world out there, with tons and tons of languages, idioms, and slang words/phrases.

Before today, I never would have thought to say or write something like, “He really gets on my tits” – or, to push the definition to its limits, “Geez, would you get off my tits already?” Maybe that’s because I don’t have any literal tits to get on (unlike Michael Moore, apparently), but it’s also because I didn’t grow up with that particular phrase. One reason I love traveling is that I get to see how people talk in different parts of the U.S. and the world. I suppose, in this case, the Internet rendered traveling unnecessary. I was able to sit in the comfort of my own home, on my bed, and read all about how to get on someone’s tits, and then write about it, properly.

Today, I’m a happy writer.

*NOTE: This blog entry is syndicated from a blog I had to start for my Electronic Publishing class at U.B. this semester. I may or may not delete the extraneous blog when the class is over, but I thought I would at least give my readers the opportunity to read the contents of that blog indefinitely.

REB #16: “With the advent of ebook self-publishing and the democratization of distribution … the power of publishing is shifting away from publishers and into the hands of authors and readers where it belongs.”

– Mark Coker interview

Mark Coker, Founder and CEO of Smashwords

Yesterday, I found this interview with Mark Coker, Founder and CEO of the electronic publishing company Smashwords. In it, he describes the changing nature of the publishing industry, highlighting his role and understandably praising his own brand of electronic self-publishing. Thisis marketing 101 after all: you do an interview to raise awareness for your product/service, so why not “talk it up”?

Anyway, I love technology. Outside of books and real-life people, my computer and TV are my best friends. However, I’m apprehensive about this shift toward electronic reading. I already do a lot of my news reading online because of all the blogs and Twitter accounts that I follow. So will I want to sit on my futon this winter, next to a roaring fireplace, and cuddle up with a good…LCD-type screen? An iPad, for instance?

Hell no!

But while I love the tactile sensation of having a book in my hands, turning its pages, flipping quickly to a favorite passage, etc., I cannot deny the convenience that electronic publishing affords the reader (we’ll leave the writer out of the equation for now). The simple fact of the matter is that I’m running out of space for books. When I moved to Baltimore in August 2009, I brought with me a small, 3-shelf bookcase and well over 300 books; I quickly bought two 5-shelf bookcases to accomodate the books, as well as my collection of DVDs. Then in late August 2010, I moved from Bolton Hill to Downtown, where my room is actually a little smaller anyway, so it wasn’t too distressing that one of my large shelves collapsed before I even tried to move it. I’m down to a 3-shelfer and a 5-shelfer. As such, many of my books are now stored and, yes, inventoried in boxes in the downstairs closet. I hate that; my books want to be out of the closet, with me, but alas, they aren’t.

With an e-reader, I still wouldn’t be able to display my books – they’d still be in the invisible “closet” of my e-reader’s storage mechanism – but at least I would have room for them. I guess that’s the tradeoff. I can have more books with an e-reader, I can have them almost instantly, and I can have them cheaper in most instances. But they aren’t books. They’re texts, yes, but they aren’t books, per se.

So why, as a writer, would/should I consider using a service like Smashwords? For one thing, Smashwords itself is free. They only take a 15% bite out of the writer’s royalties, when he/she makes money, which is a far cry from the 50-75% that most traditional publishers take. From an economical standpoint, the advantage is clear: if you (self-)publish electronically with Smashwords, you stand to make a lot more money for your work. There’s also the fact that you don’t have to wade through a sea of rejection letters from publishers, because you, my friend, are self-publishing. For “free.” That’s unheard of, isn’t it? We’re talking about guaranteed publication, here, with 85% royalties and coverage on most of the e-book stores out there (even Apple’s iBookstore and Barnes & Noble’s e-book store are included; I don’t think Amazon is one of them, though – not yet, anyway).

That sounds like a sweet deal, and I’ll probably seriously consider it for book-length works because at least I can get my name and my writing out there. But at the end of this M.F.A. program, when I publish my book of short stories, I still want to see my awesome book cover design on a tangible, traditional book in a brick-and-mortar store. And I want the prestige that comes with having my book hand-picked for publication.

Is that so much to ask?

*NOTE: This blog entry is syndicated from a blog I had to start for my Electronic Publishing class at U.B. this semester. I may or may not delete the extraneous blog when the class is over, but I thought I would at least give my readers the opportunity to read the contents of that blog indefinitely.

REB #15: “I’m twelve. But I’ve been twelve for a long time.”

– Eli in Let the Right One In

Having seen the original Swedish movie Let the Right One In (2008) – and knowing that I eventually want to read the 2004 book on which it was based – I was appalled when I realized that there is already an American remake coming out. Today, in fact. It’s called Let Me In.

Having had a little time to calm down a bit, I’m still not sure what I think of this. The original movie was great, and I have little faith that an American remake will do the story justice. Then again, I haven’t read the book, so the only basis for comparison that I’ll have is the Swedish movie. I’m starting to wonder if that’s fair or not.

As a reader/writer, I guess maybe it isn’t fair; maybe I should judge Let Me In on how well it translates the book’s story to video. But as a movie buff/writer, I think it’s completely fair. The American movie scene is saturated with remakes and adaptations, so much so that, whenever a new one comes out, I’m immediately cynical about it.

Why is this? Is it fair? What do others think?

For your viewing pleasure, I’m going to include the trailers for each of the movies now. The first one is the original Låt den rätte komma in (Let the Right One In); the second one is the American Let Me In.

*NOTE: This blog entry is syndicated from a blog I had to start for my Electronic Publishing class at U.B. this semester. I may or may not delete the extraneous blog when the class is over, but I thought I would at least give my readers the opportunity to read the contents of that blog indefinitely.

Technology Has Me in a Twitter

Until I started reading The Elements of Typographic Style, I never thought about the productivity aspect of why reading from a screen is worse than reading from a printed page. I’ve always thought/heard that the backlighting is killer (and, really, it does harm the reading experience, to an extent, at least any long reading). But it also makes sense what Bringhurst says: when we’re on a computer, we have a different mindset.

With the way technology is advancing, we are constantly looking for speed, speed, speed. For book reading, there is no default speed; it’s whatever your reading speed is. With a computer/iPhone/iPad/etc., there is Internet connection speed and processor speed and RAM and all that junk to worry about. It all affects the speed and enjoyability of the reading experience.

On a computer, we just want to get through as many things as possible, as fast as possible. We want to feel productive. With computers, and technology in general, becoming more and more integrated into our lives, that feeling isn’t going to change any time soon. With each new protocol and website and API and programming language (and so on), technology becomes more useful (or, in some cases, “useful”) and, thus, sucks up more and more of our time. The problem is that some of us (myself included, unfortunately) find ourselves unable to function if we don’t get our fix of political news on Twitter or mass messages on Facebook or TV shows on computer. Or just…whatever.

Technology is amazing, but it’s probably the most frustrating black hole since – well, since the black hole.

On that note, an update on my most recent time sucker: there’s been a bit of a delay on TwitTV, but I’m working on that in the next few days. I’m going with Smallville for the veteran show, and since Lonestar was cancelled (as I predicted elsewhere), my new show to follow will be No Ordinary Family, which premiered to more than 10 million viewers last night, even though the pilot has been online for over a month (I think that’s right, anyway). It may fall like a rock (like FlashForward did last year), but I’ll follow it for the long haul this season, even if that happens to be just a few months (in which case…maybe I could find something new in the spring).

REB #14: “Vegetables are a must on a diet. I suggest carrot cake, zucchini bread, and pumpkin pie.”

– Jim Davis

Justin brought me Cheez-Its on Saturday, since we ate all mine a week or two ago! These things are awesome – but dangerous because I could eat a whole box by myself.

Does anyone else have any weird obsessions with certain foods? I think, for me, it’s Cheez-Its and hot/spicy stuff. I put hot sauce and/or paprika on almost everything – and garlic. I also love peanut butter. Here’s a recipe for you: next time you make oatmeal, put a little honey, peanut butter, and sugar and cinnamon in it. Yum!

*NOTE: This blog entry is syndicated from a blog I had to start for my Electronic Publishing class at U.B. this semester. I may or may not delete the extraneous blog when the class is over, but I thought I would at least give my readers the opportunity to read the contents of that blog indefinitely.

REB #13: “Outside of a dog, a book is man’s best friend. Inside of a dog, it’s too dark to read.”

– Groucho Marx

The Baltimore Book Festival was this weekend. Who went?

If you were there Saturday, chances are good that you saw this guy; chances are even better that you saw his hair. But seriously, Andy Poxon is 16 years old, looks 12, and can shred a guitar like nobody’s business. He’s an accomplished blues singer, songwriter, and guitarist with a full-fledged 13-song album, and he’s not even out of high school yet! You can listen to the songs on his website, download them, or even buy the CD. And I definitely recommend it.

In other news, I walked away from the festival with 4 books for $9. I probably shouldn’t have bought anything because I don’t really have room for any more books, but I couldn’t resist. I got a book of Georgia O’Keeffe paintings (by Nancy Frazier), because of a conversation I had with an acquaintance of mine about the best way to practice painting – copy other people’s work. Over and over. So that’s what I’m going to try to do because I like to paint, but I am so out of practice! I also got John Hedgecoe’s Complete Photography Course, which is a little antiquated because it’s all 35 mm (but I think that’s actually kind of cool!), The Art of Gift Wrapping by Jane Cornell (an awesome and beautiful $1 find), and another book that I intend to use as a gift, so I won’t mention the name, in case that person is reading this.

And that’s about it. Sorry these updates are coming so late in the week; I’ve been rather busy with other school work and with looking for a second job. One more post coming tonight or tomorrow!

*NOTE: This blog entry is syndicated from a blog I had to start for my Electronic Publishing class at U.B. this semester. I may or may not delete the extraneous blog when the class is over, but I thought I would at least give my readers the opportunity to read the contents of that blog indefinitely.

REB #12: “She’s not going to have premarital sex until she’s married.”

– Bright Abbott on Everwood

If you don’t know me very well, you may not know this, but I watch TV like it’s my job; I watch entirely too much TV.

Which means that this past week has been amazing and yet stressful for me. On top of homework, class, and work, I now have to add a large pile of TV shows to my to do list. Thankfully, True Blood is over for the season, and Mad Men will be over next month. That’s two shows down for the season, at least 13-18 to go (depending on how you count them).

I wouldn’t have it any other way. 🙂

Sundays, I’m watching Brothers and Sisters (ABC) and Dexter(Showtime) – and, for a few more weeks, Mad Men (AMC), which I am relieved to say did a complete 180º, going from a terrible season 3 to an awesome season 4.

Mondays, I have nothing for now, but I plan to watch Lonestar (FOX) at some point, even though I’m 98% sure it’s going to be cancelled. I saw the pilot, and I really liked it. Anyway, in the spring, my Monday show will be The United States of Tara (Showtime).

Tuesdays, I’m watching Glee (FOX), Life Unexpected (The CW), and Parenthood (NBC). Unfortunately, the critically acclaimed Life Unexpected will probably be cancelled after its initial 13-episode second season order, due to low ratings. Parenthood didn’t exactly rock the ratings house either. In November, V (ABC) premiers, and if it stays in the same timeslot, it will air on Tuesdays; honestly, I don’t expect it to be renewed for a third season. I’ve seen the pilot to No Ordinary Family(ABC) and will likely be watching that as well, and I want to watch Raising Hope (FOX) at some point, but it’s going to have to wait.

Wednesdays, I have no commitments, but I am mildly interested in Undercovers (NBC). I might watch it when the season is over. Also, in the spring, Glee and Raising Hope will be switching to Wednesdays to make room for American Idol.

Thursdays, I’m watching The Vampire Diaries (The CW), 30 Rock (NBC), and The Office (NBC). I was actually impressed with The Office’s premier, as I did not like last season and fully expected this one to be terrible as well. They’ve got me for at least a few more episodes. Also on the potentially watch list is Nikita (The CW). I’ve seen the pilot, and for a CW remake, it was actually pretty good. And surprisingly strong in the ratings.

Fridays, I’m watching the final season of Smallville (The CW) – which started off amazing, by the way – as well as the shouldn’t-even-exist sixth season of Supernatural (The CW). It’s not that I didn’t want Supernatural to be renewed; it’s just that I wanted the producers/network to stick to the original five-year plan that the show’s creator had. This surprise renewal resulted in a bit of a cop-out for the season five ending, which should have been amazing but instead was a little too miraculous for my taste. That said, the premier left something to be desired, but I’ll continue watching out of loyalty and to see if it gets back to the high-quality episodes I know the show can produce. Anyway, in the spring, I’ll be watching the spinoff/second season of Spartacus: Blood and Sand (Starz). I’m so sad for Andy Whitfield and wish him the best in his cancer treatment. I hope he’ll be better in time for season three, but obviously, it’s not about the show. Best wishes, Andy. Get some rest. Take your time. ❤

*NOTE: This blog entry is syndicated from a blog I had to start for my Electronic Publishing class at U.B. this semester. I may or may not delete the extraneous blog when the class is over, but I thought I would at least give my readers the opportunity to read the contents of that blog indefinitely.

REB #11: “A common mistake that people make when trying to design something completely foolproof is to underestimate the ingenuity of complete fools.”

– Douglas Adams

Finally, the design of my website!

Although I may be going back to the dark ages of computing by using frames on my website (because, let’s face it, not many websites seem to use frames these days), I think it’s the best possible design choice for me. Maybe I’ll change my mind, but as of right now—considering everything I want on my site, how I want it to act, and so on—frames is the way to go, and I’ll explain why.

First of all, I’ve already started playing with Dreamweaver, and from my experience so far, it is not nearly as easy to use as the rest of the Adobe Creative Suite. There are bugs and inconsistencies that don’t exist in the other applications, but I won’t go into that right now. One good thing about Dreamweaver is that it offers several nice templates to use when starting to build your website (if you can figure out how to use them). I went through a few before I decided to try the three-frame approach.

For those of you who don’t already know, frames is basically a way of embedding more than one web page into a single window. In my case, I would have three frames (i.e., web pages) that would make up any given page of my website. The frame at the top will just be the header; there won’t be a scrollbar, nor will there be any division lines between the header frame and the frame for the main text. It will be fluid. The viewer will only see a difference when he or she scrolls through the text of the main frame (which, obviously, will have a scroll bar, assuming the content is long enough to need one), because the header will always be visible. That’s a boon, actually, because it means the viewer will always be able to click the header to return to the main page, without having to scroll back to the top. This is the equivalent of using freeze panes in Microsoft Excel, if that helps you any.

The bottom frame will contain the menu, the navigation for the site. This will be a simple row of mostly text-based “icons,” created in PhotoShop, that will take the viewer from page to page. The potential hyptertext story, for example, would be one menu choice. The story would appear as its own page, in the main frame of the site. Again, the only scrollbar would be for this middle/main frame, where the content is. So, when the content gets long enough to need a scrollbar, one will appear; otherwise, the interface will be very simple.

This is probably really confusing for people who have never built a website before and/or who don’t know what frames looks like. So, I’ll end this post with a screenshot from a design I’ve been working on. Click on it to make it bigger.

*NOTE: This blog entry is syndicated from a blog I had to start for my Electronic Publishing class at U.B. this semester. I may or may not delete the extraneous blog when the class is over, but I thought I would at least give my readers the opportunity to read the contents of that blog indefinitely.

REB #10: “Navigation is power of a limited sort – it enables us to manage the immensity of the media torrent.”

– Todd Gitlin

Next up, if you haven’t already guessed: the navigation of my website.

As Vinny mentions on his navigation post, simplicity is key. I’ve thought a lot about different navigation methods, and I keep coming back to two time-tested ideas: (1) a horizontal header with a horizontal navigation bar underneath it, right along the top of the page or (2) a horizontal header at the top and a vertical navigation bar on the left. Some web designers choose to put the navigation bar on the right (or they utilize a left and right design). I’m not considering that at this point because I prefer the left side. Perhaps that decision is subconsciously linked to politics; more likely, it’s because I was raised in a country that reads from left to right.

However, as I was brainstorming, I decided to go out on a limb: I want to try putting my navigation bar on the bottom of the site. It’s a risky move, in a way, but it’s also a very familiar paradigm for the average computer user, who has to use a “start” menu or a dock of icons (both of which are at the bottom of the screen, by default) to launch his or her applications. I want my website to be easy to use, and I think that having the navigation bar on the bottom is just as easy as having it on the top—but it’s just different enough to be mildly refreshing and interesting, while still providing that sense of familiarity we’ve been discussing. If I do end up deciding on this design, I’ll want my navigation bar to look similar to a computer dock, so I’ll be creating buttons that remind the user of icons. In fact, I’ve already made a few in PhotoShop. In any case, these buttons will allow the user to move comfortably from page to page.

The biggest departure from this will/would be the hypertext story that I may or may not create (I just need time), because the links to navigate the story would be in the story itself, not on a menu. Seemingly random words would take the reader to a new experience, a new definition, a new page. The choices the reader makes would affect the story’s message, perhaps its actual outcome. Of course, this is all assuming I can come up with the right story concept.

*NOTE: This blog entry is syndicated from a blog I had to start for my Electronic Publishing class at U.B. this semester. I may or may not delete the extraneous blog when the class is over, but I thought I would at least give my readers the opportunity to read the contents of that blog indefinitely.

REB #9: “Once you know what the story is and get it right—as right as you can, anyway—it belongs to anyone who wants to read it. Or criticize it.”

– On Writing by Stephen King

This week, we’re writing about our author/artist websites, which we will be designing and potentially publishing over the course of the next month. First up: the content of my site.

I’ve had a blog for almost a year now, one that I’ve actually managed to update on a fairly regular basis. I’ve tried to start blogs before but have never stuck with them. That said, since I’ve already got a blog started, I would like to try to incorporate it in some way. But that topic is better suited for my forthcoming posts on navigation and design, so I’ll go into more detail in the next two posts.

On this blog, I do have an “about me” page, a résumé page, a favorites page (favorite books, movies, and TV shows), and even a page to post completed/published stories, books, videos, and other projects (which I’ve done nothing with, as of yet). I’m trying to think of the best way to integrate all this information into the new website or if I even want to; I’m not sure just yet. My best bet may be to keep it on the blog and use the website for something else.

In any case, I’ve already started playing with Dreamweaver—and even tried out a couple of designs—but right now, my favorite design uses the controversial frames method, with a header on the top, a menu on the bottom, and the content in the middle (again, more to come on design and navigation in a future post). If that’s confusing, I’ll try to explain: these are all in the same browser window but are in separate “frames” (kind of like picture-in-picture for the Internet).

The content that appears in the middle frame, so far, consists of a page on which I can list my published works, an about me page, and even my entire blog (with the header and menu intact, in their respective frames, which doesn’t look great with the blog design but could be worse). I’m struggling to come up with more content for the middle frame of the home page, though, the one the reader sees first. As I said in a comment on Mike’s blog, I would also like to include a hypertext narrative of some kind (and maybe some other stories that I’ve written), but that will take a lot of time and effort to (1) write and (2) implement correctly; I suppose it’s something that will evolve over time, even if I have to work on it beyond the deadline for class.

*NOTE: This blog entry is syndicated from a blog I had to start for my Electronic Publishing class at U.B. this semester. I may or may not delete the extraneous blog when the class is over, but I thought I would at least give my readers the opportunity to read the contents of that blog indefinitely.